im making myself nervous, i spent and hour on myspace and im talking to the cat. i need to getaway... oh wait i am!!! im visiting the coolest new yorker i know! miss. rea! i cant wait. i'll be a blast.


okay my hot chocolate is ready... i need cause its damn cold out!

later

what am i doing? what in the hell am i doing??

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant wait to live in sunny warm weather. i cant wait to have my own things. i cant wait to have my own couch. i cant wait to live my own life. where will i be exactly three years from now? who will i be?

ive been in this mood all week.

im really quite bored... bored out of my mind actually. i should be studying for a math test i have in 15 min. i guess i'd rather sit in the library and type in my livejournal. i woke up this morning in a complete daze... i knew i wasn't going to be able to focus today. blah blah blah


nothing really to update on life is slow and steady right now.

later

really? im supposed to go to school and sit in the same room in front of the same computer for SIX hours and then go to photo lecture where she doesnt know how to lecture... really? if it were up to me id go for a niiiiice looooong run and let all of my winter frustrations out. damn... that's what i need.

well needless to say im off to the mac lab to stare at a screen forever. lovely............

i just want to go away.

ugh i don't know... i just don't know anymore. ive run out of words, feelings, tears. i just don't care anymore.


everyone tells me to just move on and i tell myself that too... but God damn it there is this tiny insignificant part of me that eats at me and i dont understand, and i just really want it to go away... just gooooo awayyyyyy......... i kind of feel sort of hollow right now. im just so tired of feeling like this.

this is too hard to try and explain anymore... later

blah... that's about it. blahhhh

we have to put kimmie down..... i cannot believe it. she has been a part of my life since i was 7 years old and now she wont even be with us next week.


god.....wow.....it just shocks me......she became a part of the family to the fullest degree. my dad is taking it especially rough, when the vet told him it was a tumor and they could not take it out, i guess he lost his composure. my dad NEVER does that. he's been spending a lot of time with her, bc all she does is sleep on her pillow in the kitchen and watch us. its so sad. she's so skinny and not kimmie. last night she walked to the end of the hallway and wagged her tail. my brother and i both started crying. to be honest i cant imagine life without her. she didnt deserve to go this way. she deserved to be out in the woods hunting one last time with my dad, doing what she loves best... running.

i mean her kennel will be empty and i wont see her nose poke out of the doghouse when she slept all day.


i don't want her to leave us.

if i dont shoot a roll of slide film today, im screwed and that's all there is to it. all my mid-term projects are due next wed. and i have been working on them like a madwoman. they're coming along nicely i just want to get my photo mid-term done, because the roll of film that im shooting takes 3 weeks to develope and bc its due next wed. and really... my teacher didnt give us enough time, considering the developing time, the only place that will develope this film in like two hours is in hartford and my parents said they would bring it over there for me bc they're going into hartford for some show tomorrow. anyway point being i feel crunched for time......


my mom and i thought up of a hot st.patrick's day outfit, im excited, it involves a new pair of dress jeans and gold heels... yeaa

lets seeee.... nothing too new. kimmie is feeling a lot better. a week ago we thought.... well it didnt look good. she couldnt move all she could do was lay there and move her eyes. we didnt know why. but slowly very slowly she has gotten better. last night she walked around the house for tiny bit taking little baby steps. and she started wagging her tail again... so GO KIMMIE!

well i guess that's it. im going to go clean my room and do my laundry. God that's never ending cylce isnt it?

i was estimated to get $400 back from taxes...... im getting $37.......................


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

saw the cutest guy at the gym yesterday... did i talk to him? no... why would i? im such a moron. hope that he's there next time i go. had a great run though, good motivation haha.

so the james blunt concert in boston is sold out and that was upsetting but we'll still have a kick ass time up there.

not much else going on. just kind of chillen, i started catching something nasty but rested and took care of myself so im feeling better... ummm yeah not much else

okay off to do crunches becuase im a freak later